Photos from Upcoming MONSTER BRAWL Wrestling Horror-Comedy

Here's four brand new photos from the upcoming MONSTER BRAWL. MONSTER BRAWL brings together comedians such as David Foley, modern wrestling legends like Jimmy Hart
and Kevin Nash and horror favorites like Lance Henriksen together for one smashing good time.

The film, directed by Jesse T. Cook, is the flagship title from start up company Foresight Features , and depicts a no holds barred fighting tournament that takes place in an abandoned graveyard which has been transformed into a brawling venue. On the ticket is an assortment of classic monsters that will battle to the death in an explosive Pay-Per-View television broadcast format.

The main production is just wrapping up in Ontario, so hopefully more news about this film will be released shortly.

PSYCHO BEACH PARTY (2000) Movie Review

PSYCHO BEACH PARTY (2000)

In a small town near Malibu Beach, innocent girl-next-door Florence becomes friends with the local surfers and quickly catches her eye on surf guru Kanaka. But no sooner does her friendship with the group start to solidify than they start dying off at the hands of an unknown killer. The group also meets up with a B-movie actress who has taken up residence in a beach house that is supposedly haunted. As residents continue to drop off like flies, each of the survivors becomes a suspect under the iron gaze of the militant police captain Monica Stark. When Kanaka discovers Florence's secret - that she has a split personality - Kanaka fears that she may be the killer but also finds himself inexplicably attracted to her dark alter ego. And at the annual beach luau, as the local teens gather to dance the night away hoping to stay alive, all will be revealed!

This film, which is actually based on a stage play of the same name and rewritten for the screen by the play's writer Charles Busch (who also plays the police captain), has been touted as a mix of the 1960s beach blanket movies with the 1970s slasher. However, Busch is clearly more interested in sending up the beach party movies and their go-go style than making anything resembling a horror movie. Following Busch's script, director Robert Lee King explores the homo-erotic undertones of the surf movie culture, the commie fears of the McCarthy era, and the pure sexual energy of youth without fear of being blacklisted. King saturates his movie with a dripping and over-the-top style of the sixties beach movie with a loving tribute to the clothes, the cars, and drive-in culture of the era, and even goes so far as to have the actors "surf" in front of a projection screen.

The horror elements, if one can even go so far as to call them that, are few and far between. The kills are practically bloodless and played more for laughs than scares. There is no sense of suspense or atmosphere, and the only thing resembling a tribute to the seventies slasher is that the unknown killer is shown wearing gloves. And by the time the killer is revealed for one last chase, King doesn't even bother to go for a sense of danger, and merely goes through the motions to resolve the film.

Of the cast, each of whom look right at home in their bikinis, surf trunks and pastel dresses, are culled from mostly television productions. Lauren Ambrose (best known as the redhead in CAN'T HARDLY WAIT) plays the cute and innocent lead Florence. Ambrose knows exactly what King is looking for, and delivers a bubbly Sandra Dee-inspired performance to a T. The rest of cast perform their stereotyped roles admirably, and even their apparently weak and somewhat wooden delivery plays right into the movies they are sending up. Nicholas Brendon (Xander in "Buffy The Vampire Slayer") finds a role in the surfer gang, while Beth Broderick (of "Sabrina The Teenage Witch" and "Lost") plays Florence's mother. The movie also includes a killer surf music soundtrack, and features Los Straitjackets in a live performance during the luau scene.

For anyone without a firm appreciate of Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon, GIDGET, or the surf culture, it is best just to stay away from this flick. The slashing horror is so watered down here that even getting to the best kill scene which ends in a cartoonish decapitation is a chore, and the rest of the thriller and horrific elements are a dud. However, if you've ever rattled off the Wipe Out drum solo on your car steering wheel while driving to the beach, do think about checking this movie out.

I'M A CYBORG BUT THAT'S OK Movie Review

I'M A CYBORG BUT THAT'S OK (2006)

Sweet teen Young-Goon is just your average girl, except for that fact that she has "discovered" that she is a cyborg. Not only does she refuse to eat, for fear that the food will damage her inner electronics, but while working at her job she slices her wrist open and sticks an electrical cord in to re-charge. This gets her an express trip to the local mental institution, where she finds deep conversations with the fluorescent light fixtures and the coffee vending machine. Her doctors try to figure out just why she won't eat, but Young-Goon made a promise not to tell anyone that she was a cyborg.

Among the various and colorful patients in the institution is Il-Sun, a young man who is a habitual thief and has self-committed himself in order to escape jail time. Il-Sun is not just content with stealing material objects, but also steals everything from ping-pong skills to yodeling abilities and even the emotion of sympathy! When Il-Sun, who perpetually wears cardboard robot masks and bunny suit pajamas, becomes curiously infatuated with Young-Goon, he discovers the secret to why she does not eat. And while the doctors try their clinical procedures including shock therapy and even trying to force feed Young-Goon through her nose, Il-Sun comes up with an ingenious plan to finally get her to eat, knowing full well she only has days to live before she starves herself to death.

I've been looking forward to seeing this movie ever since the first rumors started leaking out of Korea shortly after the completion of SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE. The name Park Chan-Wook has become synonymous with violent revenge films with his nigh-perfect trilogy, and could have easily stayed within this genre for the rest of his career. However, he chose to challenge himself and his fans with a romantic-comedy that is truly one of a kind, which he co-wrote with SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE writer Jeong Se-Gyeong.

The result is one that will surely divide his "built in" audience, and probably annoy the hell out of K-Pop fans who want to see heartthrob Rain, who plays Il-Sun, in a movie. The style of the opening title sequence and introduction to Young-Goon, is the immediate make-or-break point for the audience. Park goes straight for sensory overload as he pushes the quirky pedal to the metal. Along with the musical overture, this is as close to replicating a combination of Tim Burton and Danny Elfman to be found in cinema as you're likely to get, and in some ways even out does these kings of strange.

From this opening, Park dumps us right into the boiling pot of his mental institution, where it appears the inmates are definitely running the asylum. While the exhausted staff tries to keep the patients corralled and in some manner of treatment, mostly they just wander the halls and the grounds, free to perpetually run amok with their odd behaviors that have landed them there in the first place. These scenes are quite reminiscent of the asylum scenes of 12 MONKEYS, if they were shown through an anime prism. The huge assortment of secondary characters offer some of the greatest laughs throughout the movie, and help to keep the tone light even as Young-Goon's fate becomes more dire.

Of course the center piece of the film is the odd relationship that builds between Young-Goon (Lim Su-Jeong of A TALE OF TWO SISTERS) and Il-Sun. Park runs through an exhausting array of emotions between these two, as they each become the others stalker for entirely different reasons, Il-Sun's desperate attempts to break through Young-Goon's "cyborg" shell as she nears death, and finally a romantic love that is often ignored in cinema which climaxes with the oddest scene ever to wretch a single-tear from the eye. Both actors completely loose themselves in the freedom of being mentally unhinged, but avoid going completely manic leaving this to the other actors.

Park Chan-Wook injects his bizarre dark-humor into scene after scene and coats everything with colors that only exist in Japanese candy. Much of the movie takes place within Young-Goon's skewed perspective on the world she lives in, which segues into some truly odd fantasies that even some of the other characters get sucked into. For those demanding blood, Park lets Young-Goon obliterate the entire staff of the hospital with her fully-automatic weapons system with limitless ammunition, which finishes with an uninterrupted shot of mayhem that comes close to rivaling his hallway sequence in OLDBOY. Even in sequences that supposedly take place in reality, Park twists them just enough to the point where it could very well just be the fantasy interpretation of one of the characters.

Park has said that he "wanted to make a film that my daughter could watch and take friends to see and laugh out loud." He has certainly accomplished the laughs with the rat-a-tat pacing, physical comedy that occupies every available space, and the love story that would connect with the younger female crowd who still thinks of romance as holding hands and getting into a bit of mischief. There is a darker side to the film, that I think might resonate specifically with the older crowd, who can catch the absurd and rather cruel things that humans can turn to in order to solve problems they don't understand. However, there is also a very bright center that is focused on the older crowd, which shows the journey and pure joy of finally finding the purpose of your life.

BOY EATS GIRL (2005) Movie Review

BOY EATS GIRL (2005)

Nathan is your average teen in a small town in Ireland, where he hangs out with his mates, and is secretly in love with his friend, Jessica. On the night that he prepares to tell Jessica his true feelings, he is tricked into believing that Jessica is out on a date with one of the school's jocks. Distraught with grief, he drinks himself into a stupor, and contemplates suicide by hanging, but when his mother walks into his room and knocks him from the chair, he actually does kill himself.

All is not lost though, as Nathan's mother has just uncovered a book on reanimation in the church she is restoring. She uses the book, and brings Nathan back from the dead, though he is unaware of his short trip to the afterlife. Although Nathan seems fine at first, he notices he no longer wants food of any type, and realizes that his strength has increased. On the night of the school dance, he gets into a fight with one of his tormentors and in a fit of rage bites him. This bite causes a chain reaction which soon has the entire student body and townspeople turning into vicious zombies. Only a few are left alive, including Jessica and Nathan's mates, but will they be able to find a way to stop the onslaught, or are they just the next course on the menu?

Although not as romantic or comedic as SHAUN OF THE DEAD, this entry into the niche rom-com-zom sub-genre is still a fun movie to watch, and runs circles around MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK. The teen-angst portion of the storyline is nothing new, but coupled with believable above-average acting and the addition of Irish accents, it makes it more watchable than most current teen comedies.

Once the zombie action begins about half-way through the film, the caro syrup and rubber limbs come out for some good old fashioned gutmunching. The zombies in BOY EATS GIRL are the running and hunting type, who pursue and tackle their pray. Stomachs are pulled open, intestines are spilled out and heads are bashed open. During the final sequence, Jessica dispatches a horde of zombies in a way that must have been written in an attempt to one-up the lawnmower scene in BRAINDEAD, and although it does not take the crown, gorehounds will surely squeal with delight.

BOY EATS GIRL is by no means a perfect zombie movie, and does have a few glaring absences of explanation, the biggest being why Nathan does not turn into a full zombie for the whole of the movie, while all the other victims become zombies immediately. For that matter, why does a reanimated corpse who bites someone cause them to become a zombie to begin with? The answer is, it really doesn't matter. The film does not seem to latch itself onto any specific zombie rulebook, nor does it try to instill any amount of seriousness into the movie.

For fans of the above mentioned films, as well as Japan's STACY or IDLE HANDS, this rom-com-zom is highly worth the rental for a few chuckles and ewwws.

BEHIND THE MASK - THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON Review

BEHIND THE MASK:

THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON (2006)

In a world in which Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Freddy Krueger exist, a young man named Leslie Vernon is preparing to become the newest name in serial killers. Following him around as he sets up for the night on which he will strike is journalism grad student Taylor and her two-man film crew, who are fully documenting Leslie's preparation to become a horror legend, from his cardiovascular workouts, to his methodical choosing of his victims, to his complete rigging of the house where the murders will take place. He carefully plants the seeds of the back story and curse that will be associated with his name, and even introduces Taylor and company to his mentor, a serial killer who has since retired. But on the night of the murders as Leslie sets to work, Taylor feels something deep within her - Leslie Vernon must be stopped!

Move over SCREAM, there is a new kid on the self-aware horror block. Building from a base previously set up by the serial killer mockumentary MAN BITES DOG and employing the laundry list of well-known horror cliches and motifs, debut director and writer Scott Glosserman energetically takes on the horror genre with one of the most unique entries to the slasher world in quite some time.

The film starts off with Taylor discussing the world in which the film takes place, bringing realistic credence to the mythical kings of killers of the past thirty years and bringing them all into one universe. During this opening, film footage of the real Elm Street and the streets on which HALLOWEEN took place are briefly seen, plus a very quick cameo by a certain hockey mask wearing actor. It helps get the film right up to running speed, and instills in the back of our mind a collective set of rules that must be followed in this universe. Plus, it is an encouraging wink to the horror fans that this movie is for us.

Behind Leslie Vernon is relative newcomer Nathan Baesel, who makes his film debut here, and is very eager to please the viewers. His happy-go-lucky attitude, with just a hint of underlying sinisterism, is a biting contrast to what one would suspect to find behind the mask of a serial killer. Via Glosserman and co-writer David J. Stieve's script, Baesel is able to go into great detail about the preparation it takes to be a killer, gives concrete evidence to just how killers are able to always be in the right spot at the right time, thus giving a further nod to Ben, the serial killer of MAN BITES DOG. Baesel has great presence and chemistry, and when he dons his mask, outfit, and gets a hold of his scythe, he truly does transform into a variation on every masked killer to grace the silver screen.

The script also lets a little steam off during a conversation Leslie has with mentor, Eugene. In these discussions, as Eugene gives a history lesson to Taylor about the evolution of the serial killer, he is actually talking about the evolution of the slasher genre. He discusses in the late sixties, how killers would just travel from town to town, starting over each time, which is a thinly veiled recollection of a pre-sequel horrors. He then goes on to praise how Myers, Voorhees, and Krueger revolutionized how killers operate, and lambastes what he calls sloppy "one-hit wonders", in what is easily seen as both paying respect to the height of the slasher genre and condemning of those that were merely hopping on the bandwagon.

The final act of BEHIND THE MASK takes an interesting twist which may irk some viewers, but is the only logical way for the film to end. Instead of merely standing by and documenting the carnage, Taylor decides to stop Leslie before he can complete his masterpiece. Their cameras turn off, and suddenly the movie switches gears from mockumentary to an actual horror movie. If you can let yourself get wrapped up in it momentum, Glosserman pulls off the sudden style change surprisingly well, employing a slicker look and pulling out all the horror conventions that one would expect, down to the very... last... shot.

Cuban Zombies in JUAN OF THE DEAD

JUAN OF THE DEAD (aka JUAN DE LOS MUERTOS) centers around Juan, a typical forty-year-old slacker. When Havana begins to fill up with zombies, Juan decides that the best way to cope with it is to prosper. "Juan of the dead kills your loved ones" is his slogan, and his mission is to help people get rid of those infected around them ... for a price. But as the situation gets worse and everyone escapes to sea as a means to get away, Juan is left with no choice but to become a hero, staying to defend his country and protect his own on an island that has turned into a real bloodbath.

Cuba's entry into the bloated zombie-comedy film world, which is co-produced between Mexico and Spain, begins principal photography this September.

Here's the teaser trailer, which sells the zombie-killer-for-a-price motif pretty well.

Return to Nilbog TROLL 2 is Coming to Blu-Ray

Forget PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, forget ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES, forget STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE, this October one of the most celebrated so-bad-its-beyond-awesome movies of all time is coming to Blu-Ray this October.

That's right I'm talking about TROLL 2, or TROLL II for the Romans reading, a film truly deserving of the "movies at midnight" stamp of approval.

TROLL 2 tells the story of Joshua and his family, take a trip to Nilbog, which unbeknown to them, is the kingdom of the goblins, as told to young Joshua by his deceased grandfather Seth. Now it's up to Joshua, magical time-stopping Grandpa Seth, and a bologna sandwich to save the family from the evil Goblin Queen, who uses everything from magical rocks to an ear of corn to destroy Joshua's family.

TROLL 2 found its way into my heart in the early nineties when it was shown practically every weekend afternoon on WPIX here in the North East. No matter where I came into the movie's running time I was compelled to watch the rest, much like I was for TREMORS, GROUNDHOG DAY and SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER.

And now it will soon be mine to own, and yours too, in glorious high definition forever and ever and ever...

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DORKS (2004) Movie Review

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DORKS (2004)

Best friends, Philip, Wurst, and Konrad are three unpopular seniors just trying to make it through high school in one piece. One night, when they visit a Satanic ritual being performed by the school's goth crowd, which includes Philip's next door neighbor Rebecca, the three friends are accidentally covered in the ashes of a Haitian zombie. While driving home, Wurst crashes his van, and the three wake up in the morgue. Unsure if they are stoned or if the medics just made a huge mistake, the three sneak back to Philip's house.

It is only when watching Day Of The Dead that evening that the trio put two and two together and realize they are zombies. They take their new powers in stride, putting them to good use on the rugby field to finally win a game against the jocks. But when Konrad begins to use his undead status to get back at all those that picked on them, Philip knows that they have to find an antidote and turns to Rebecca and her copy of the Necronomicon. If they can not finish the spell within thirty-six hours, they'll be stuck as zombies forever!

Writer and Director Mathias Dinter gives us Germany's entry into the rom-com-zom subgenre with this outing that focuses much more on the comedy aspect than the horror. Mathias' inspiration and dedication seems to come almost exclusively from the worlds of REVENGE OF THE NERDS, AMERICAN PIE and CAN'T HARDLY WAIT, rather than the universe that George Romero created. Dinter leaves all of the undead references and homages to SHAUN OF THE DEAD, save for one quickie, which is a highlight of the film. Instead, Dinter focuses his efforts on the lives of his clueless and horny dorks as they try to cope with their new abilities and the troubles they bring. The zombie aspect of the film could almost be any interchangeable variable that would have allowed Philip to gain sudden popularity.

Dinter completely drops any feeling of suspense or horror, and hardly dabbles in the gore department. Sure, there is a bit of neck biting and some severed limbs, but it is approached in a gross-out comedy way rather than blood-n-guts gross-out. Instead, Dinter drinks deep of the gross-out teen comedy cup that has already been poured and generously borrows from his predecessors while adding a decidedly "German" touch. While there are plenty of solid laugh out loud moments, and several good set-ups and pay-offs, the standard plot remains easily predictable and has been done before in half a dozen languages.

The main acting crew here, consisting of German versions of twenty-something WB actors pretending to be teenagers, do a decent job with the material, but no one here is winning any awards. Manuel Cortez, who plays the teacher-chasing perpetually-stoned Wurst, takes top prize in the comedy department, while Collien Fernandes, a former member of the bands Yam Yam and Suco E Sol, gives the movie its eye candy with her shy yet sexy role as Rebecca.

All rolled up, NIGHT OF THE LIVING DORKS is an easy to digest comedy that yucks it up rather than yucks you out. The film is even more approachable due to its complete lack of undead mythos built in, or jokes that will only play for a target audience, and works better as a companion piece to the oft-forgotten MY BOYFRIEND'S BACK, instead of trying to vie for attention against SHAUN OF THE DEAD. In the end, it becomes a by-the-numbers John Hughes film, house party scene and all. Just with zombies.

Sarongs-a-Plenty in Cinematic Titanic's DANGER ON TIKI ISLAND

There's two things that I am nigh-obsessed with, that being Tiki bars (and all the good potent drinks that come with it) and Joel Hodgson-era Mystery Science Theatre 3000.

These two cultural institutions come crashing together in DANGER ON TIKI ISLAND, the latest Cinematic Titanic release.

Strange things are happening on this remote island in the Pacific, where a Peace Corps volunteer, a researcher and his love-starved lady arrive to find that nearby atomic testing has mutated some of the plants. It that weren't bad enough, a monster terrifies the villagers in its lust for blood. The man-beast must be stopped - but how?

This film was a staple at drive-ins in its day. Now experience it live with Cinematic Titanic.

LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT (1975) Movie Review

LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT (1975)

When factions from just about every political movement in the country become completely disgruntled with the two currently political candidates, they hold a convention of their own to nominate a suitable third party candidate. But with groups ranging from the Lets Get Back to Viet Nam Committee, the American Nazi Party, and the Group Marriage Group, it seems that no one will ever be chosen. However, on a lark (and as you’ve probably already guessed from the title) they finally go with porn star Linda Lovelace of DEEP THROAT fame.

With the blessing and guidance of her Uncle Sam, Linda and her merry crew of cross-sectioned supporters and organizers including a priest, a feminist, a flaming homosexual and a pedophile head from coast to coast in a pair of buses with a path that is quite fitting of Linda’s infamy. When Linda actually starts ranking in the polls, due in part to her very healthy one-on-one grassroots promoting, representatives from both the Democrats and Republicans team up to stop her. Their plan - hire the world’s best assassin Alfredo Fettuccini to kill her before the elections!

With Linda Lovelace standing completely nude in a very Patton-esque pose in front of an American flag, the opening text proudly proclaims “This picture is intended to offend everybody… regardless of race, creed or color.” And it does. From the psychotic and disturbed mind of “Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In” writer Jack Margolis comes this sketch-comedy styled political farce that plays in the same vein as THE KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE and swings for the fences to ensure that no one is left out. But in between the immature double entendres and homophobic, racist, sexist, anti-Semitic, incestuous and pedophilia-laced jokes is a jab at politics and how elections are won that seems eerily foretelling of today’s politics.

Director Claudio Guzman just barely keeps everything in some form of logical and coherent forward momentum, but leaves plenty of room for complete onscreen anarchy and commotion. Linda and company move from one five-to-ten minute bit to the next, with Linda of course losing all over clothes in each one for some full-frontal nudity and simulated softcore sex (the film was originally rated “X”), while many of her cohorts get into their own rambunctious antics including ex-Monkee Micky Dolenz as a nearsighted and neurotic bus driver. While the cast includes many comedic talents from the late sixties and early seventies, most of the acting comes off as second rate.

With over thirty years passed since its original release in 1975, the bawdy movie offers a peek back into a raunchy and unapologetic time before political correctness threatened to make offensive humor a relic of the past or at least neuter it to the being pointless at its best or hipster-ironic at its worst. While it may have ruffled a few feathers back in the day for the most part everyone who saw it seemed to get the joke - in a world where everything is offensive, is anything actually offensive?

LINDA LOVELACE FOR PRESIDENT would mark the last screen appearance for Linda Lovelace, whose real name is Linda Boreman, save for archive footage that was recycled through the eighties. Lovelace, who died in 2002, would later go on to write two books alleging she was forced to participate in pornography. While Linda’s life may not have had the happiest ending, there is no doubt that she still retains a legion of fans, who will be thrilled to know that this hard-to-find title has finally been released on DVD.

TRAPPED ASHES Movie & DVD Review

TRAPPED ASHES (2006)

In the late 60’s and early 70’s, anthology horror movies poured from low budget production houses throughout Europe, including the time-honored BLACK SABBATH from Mario Bava and EC Comics inspired Tales From The Crypt by Freddie Francis. Anthology horror on the big screen took on new life in the US in the 1980s with CREEPSHOW and sputtered out in the early 1990s with TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE. Meanwhile in Hong Kong, a ghostly anthology series called TROUBLESOME NIGHT has been going strong since 1997 and most recently the East Asian anthology films THREE and THREE: EXTREMES have been chilling audiences around the world.

But is there hope for a revival of this horror niche here in the United States? Writer Dennis Bartok would like to think so. Bartok, who has spent much of his career on the fringes of the film community as the head of programming at American Cinematheque in Los Angeles and as an interviewer for DVD featurettes, makes his screenwriting debut with TRAPPED ASHES, and with the help of some Japanese financing has brought along some top-name talent to back him up.

TRAPPED ASHES concerns six sightseers on a tour of a dilapidated Hollywood backlot, who convince their tour guide to let them explore on of the studio’s grandest sets – a haunted mansion where all the built-in practical effects are still fully functional! But when the group gets stuck inside, the kindly tour guide reminds them that the plot for the mansion setting involved trapped visitors who must each tell a personal horror story in order to be released, and suggests that in order to escape they must do the same. Reluctantly, the tourists begin to spin their tales…

In “The Girl With Golden Breasts” (directed by Ken Russell of THE DEVILS fame) a desperate actress gets breast implants in hopes of landing a part. Though she indeed starts getting cast, she also must deal with a very disturbing side effect. In “Jibaku” (directed by Sean S. Cunningham) a husband recalls how on a recent trip to Japan his wife became the latest victim of a demon that drags her into Hell, and what he did to get her back. In “Stanley’s Girlfriend” (directed by Monte Hellman) a director from the 1960s tells the tale of his best friend and how a mysterious woman how enters his life changes things forever. Finally in “My Twin, The Worm” (directed by THE MATRIX visual effects supervisor John Gaeta) a Goth woman remembers how her mother had a tape worm she was pregnant, and now feels a special connection with it.

Bartok, who wrote all four episodes as well as the wraparound segments (which was directed by Joe Dante), certainly has an enthusiasm for the underused sub-genre that is the horror anthology, but as a first time writer, is unable to deliver a knockout here. While each director does a descent job with the material they are given, the stories themselves are uneven and lack the power they need to propel from one to the next. The stand out episode is “Jibaku” with its interpretation of Japanese Hell and usage of animation, while “Stanley’s Girlfriend” has slow burning mood and subtle punch line but feels out of place amongst the others. “The Girl With The Golden Breast” essentially exists for Rachel Veltri to show off her ample boobs, while “My Twin, The Worm” is practically ruined by embarrassing CGI, especially given its director’s resume.

The material would feel much more satisfying in a television horror anthology instead of a movie, so that each segment could either be appreciated or written off independent of one another. The stories have a small screen appeal, and with their zinger endings and dark humor, would have been welcome on the Tales From The Crypt TV series. This comparison is made all the stronger by the elderly guide who pushes each of the tourists to tell a story, while the twisty-winding rooms and hallways of the haunted mansion seal the deal.

While the film was released in 2006, it has taken until now to finally arrive on DVD. The film features an anamorphic widescreen transfer and a soundtrack in both Dolby Digital 5.1 and Dolby Stereo with accompanying English and Spanish subtitle. A commentary track is included with Bartok and several of the actors, with Bartok taking the reigns as he recalls making the movie. A deleted scenes reel features over twenty-five minutes of snippets and scenes that were trimmed from each segment. A five-part making of entitled A Look Inside peels back the layer of each segment, with their respective directors discussing their story.

Also included is the director’s cut of “Stanley’s Girlfriend”, which includes several additional scenes plus a different voice over, which allows to simmering eeriness to come to full fruition. The original cut of “The Girl with Golden Breasts” also includes several additional scenes including a quick glimpse that alters the story. A selection of previews from Lionsgate rounds out the disc.

Trapped Ashes DVD Review originally published on Geeks of Doom.

FREAKAZOID SEASON ONE DVD Review

FREAKAZOID: Season One (1995)

With Tiny Toon Adventures and Animaniacs under his belt, Steven Spielberg set out complete his trifecta of “Presents” cartoons by executive producing Freakazoid in 1995. With initial concepts by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini, and using a hodgepodge of writers and voice actors from some of the best episodes of Animaniacs to flesh out the series, Freakazoid follows the life of Dexter Douglas and his titlular superhero alter-ego. As we learn from the Emmy Nominated theme song, Dexter Douglas is a nerd computer ace who went surfing on the internet and was zapped to cyberspace; he turned into the Freakazoid who is strong and super-quick and drives the villains crazy because he’s a lunatic. And that is about all the background you’ll get and need for this superhero.

Freakazoid is a superhero spoof that fires on all pistons as it lovingly pokes at the genre with incredibly witty dialogue and an inspiring array of supporting characters and villains. In addition, the show is very aware of itself, which works in the favor of its anarchic comedic styling. The show will often cut away to talk about tie-in merchandise that doesn’t really exist or how well a test audience liked a certain segment. And being that the cartoon was produced by Warner Bros, the show gets away with taking digs at DC Comics characters, which Time-Warner owns. Increasingly strange and obscure pop culture references also help to give the show its unique voice. How many kids shows can you name that will reference Ed Wood?

Read my full review at The DVD Lounge!

THE EYE 3 (aka THE EYE INFINITY) Movie Review

THE EYE 3 (aka THE EYE INFINITY) (2005)

When a group of friends from Hong Kong visit another friend, Chongkwai, in Thailand they are taken on a fun tour of Bangkok’s sights and sounds, but on their way back to Chongkwai’s house they see a person who had been killed by the side of the road. Morbidly fascinated by the death, the five friends begin to tell ghost stories, and that is when Chongkwai pulls out a book her purchased that goes through ten steps to actually see ghosts! The friends decide to try a few of the tricks out, and lo and behold, they are visited by ghosts from the Spirit World! Things take a turn for the worse, though, when one of their friends seemingly disappears during one of the ghost “games.”

Devastated by Gofei’s disappearance, the others return to Hong Kong, but the ghost games keep on going, and the horrified teens keep seeing spirits at every corner. Reluctantly, they return to Thailand where Chongkwai believes that they will have to go through all ten ghost games in order to make them stop. To the teens’ horror, the final game involves pretending to be dead in order to cross over to the Spirit World. Donned in funeral dressings, May and Tak boldly cross over to the other side, but what they discover will stay with them for the rest of their lives!

Read my full review on Geeks of Doom!

THE ROYAL TRAMP Collection DVD Review

THE ROYAL TRAMP 1 & 2 (1992)

Political strife is dividing the current reign of China during the Ching Dynasty, as the Emperor believes that one of his top advisors Obai is planning to kill him, and the Society Of Heaven And Earth is plotting to overthrown the government and return power to the Ming Dynasty. Enter Wei Siu Bo (Stephen Chow), a charismatic and manic con man with no allegiance save to himself who has no martial art skills but has a mastery over wordplay. By fate and perchance, Bo is swept up by Heaven And Earth to infiltrate the palace and steal a book that contains the secrets which will allow the anti-government society to defeat the Emperor. Instead, Bo becomes friends with the Emperor and his sister. As secret attacks and double crosses plague the palace, Bo is able to take advantage of one situation after another to gain the confidence of the Emperor and uses his wit and dumb luck to maneuver out of one deadly situation after another. But he is unaware that there is yet another plot underway to take over rule of China, and that the saga of the Royal Tramp could be over just as quickly as it started!

Filmed back to back in 1992 by the highly prolific director Wong Jing, Royal Tramp and Royal Tramp 2 take their inspiration from the wildly popular serial story "The Duke Of Deer Mountain" that appeared in a Hong Kong newspaper, from which Wong Jing also wrote the screenplays. At the head of this incredible comedy and spoof on period dramas and wuxia martial arts epics is Stephen Chow, who has had his unique comedic style tailor woven into the scripts.

[Read my full review at Geeks Of Doom]

ROB-B-HOOD Movie and DVD Review

ROB-B-HOOD (2006)

Master thief and compulsive gambler Thongs (Jackie Chan) along with his womanizing criminal partner Octopus (Louis Koo) find themselves smack in the middle of Three Men And A Baby when their boss kidnaps a newborn that will be passed on to the grandfather for a fee of seven million dollars! Thongs and Octopus, who have no experience with babies, must watch over the tyke for a week until the arrangement is all sorted out, during which time the pair have to take a crash course in caring for an infant, avoid the suspicion of the local authorities, and deal with pesky triad debt collectors. But when it is finally time to turn the baby over, will Thongs and Octopus be able to put aside their newfound parenting instincts in return for the big payday?

Under the direction of Benny Chan, who may be best known in the west for his previous collaboration with Jackie on Who Am I and the Gen-X Cops series, Jackie shines through with his usual charismatic self. Though it takes Jackie almost an hour to get into the first fight sequence, it is great to see that the 53-year-old actor can still pull off some incredible aerial feats and go toe-to-toe with martial artists half his age. The choreography, which has been set up by Jackie and his stunt team, is as fluid as always and once again utilizes unique set-ups to their full advantage. Though there are a few wire cheats used to keep the actor safe, Jackie still gets away with a lot more on his home turf than he ever would in an American production, including the avoiding a two car collision and dodging multiple speeding trains on a spiraling rollercoaster. Despite Jackie's desire to become someone known as a great actor, the stuntwork and action sequences seen here are still the number one reason to keep tabs on him.

Read my full review at Geeks Of Doom.

BALLS OF FURY Movie and DVD Review

BALLS OF FURY (2007)

Childhood ping ping prodigy Randy Daytona, who suffered defeat at the 1988 Games, is now a miserable sod performing tricks at a matinee show in Reno. It is here that FBI agent Ernie Rodriguez offers Randy the chance of a lifetime — to slip into an underground ping pong tournament run by the nefarious triad leader Feng to get evidence that will shut down his criminal organization. Randy agrees, and is soon put through a hellish training by blind ping pong master Wong and Wong's equally abusive niece, Maggie.

After defeating Chinatown's local legend, The Dragon, Randy is offered a chance to compete in Feng's tournament, and is bused off to his secret headquarters in Central America. There, Randy and his fellow competitors are offered all the luxuries they can think of before the first round begins and the early losers learn quite to their horror that this is a tournament to the death! Will Randy be able to stay alive long enough to find the evidence he needs, or will he become just another plaque on Feng's wall of fallen athletes?

Read my full review at Geeks Of Doom

CONFUSIONS OF AN UNMARRIED COUPLE Movie Review

CONFUSIONS OF AN UNMARRIED COUPLE (2007)

After spending several months of living on his brother's couch, Dan finally builds up the courage and intoxication to finally confront his ex-girlfriend Lisa (ex-fiancee, current fiancee, what the fuck is she?) about catching her sleeping with another woman, maybe patching things up, or at the very least getting his Pretty In Pink soundtrack LP back. He treks over to her apartment and the pair spend the rest of the afternoon bickering, arguing, and smoking a joint before getting right back into it, still not quite aware that they are absolutely perfect for each other.

Read my full review at Geeks Of Doom!

SURF'S UP Movie Review

SURF'S UP (2007)

Penguin Cody Maverick spends his days surfing whatever waves he can in his small Antarctica town of Shiverpool, hoping to one day be as good as the legendary surfer Big Z. When a surfing scout picks up Cody to surf in the Big Z Memorial Surfing Contest, Cody thinks this is his big chance to finally get out of his small town. Along with a film crew following Cody and his new surfing friend, the spaced-out Chicken Joe, they head to the competition. But on his first attempt to even surf one of the big waves, Cody is completely wiped out. He is brought to the jungle hut of The Geek, an older recluse who seems to know a lot more about surfing then he is letting on. It is The Geek who shows Cody just what it means to be a surfer as he begins to train him, but will Cody be ready for the main event just three days away?

Coming in on the tail end of the penguin craze, Ash Brannon (co-director of TOY STORY 2) and Chris Buck (co-director of Disney's TARZAN) along with writer Don Rhymer (whose other writing credits will not be given space here) send up the sports movie genre in this animated "family movie" that uses pseudo-documentary and reality style to bring this oddly satisfying tale to the screen.

The overall story deals with all the standards of your underdog sports movie that have been done hundreds of times before, as the hero learns that winning isn't everything and the most important thing is just to have fun, the big burly bully is defeated, the hero meets his romantic interest, loses his romantic interest, and wins her back via sacrifice, etcetera etcetera. But hey, maybe some of the younger crowd watching this haven't been pummeled to death already with the whole "winners aren't the ones that always come in first" mentality yet, and trying to get more people to understand that is very, very important. Plus, for the kids watching, they're probably just happy watching animated hi-jinx and hearing a few poop jokes.

The true joy of this animated film lies, as has become standard with the better animated features from the past ten years or so, in the subtle winks and nudges to the adults in the audience, as Brannon is acutely aware from his work on TOY STORY 2. Jokes are hurled out at rapid speed and characters are designed specifically for the adults. The main promoter is complete riff on Don King, while Chicken Joe is a burnt-out stoner that is the animated equivalent to FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH's Jeff Spicoli. Hell, even the entire way the film is presented, via breakaway interview segments and archive film footage, won't even be fully appreciated by anyone save for the older viewers.

Unlike the latest animated features, SURF'S UP doesn't go for broke trying to bring in big names to sell it. Sure, there are a few recognizable voices and a few names in the credits will ring a bell, but it is not a blatantly in your face as that green ogre movie. Jeff Bridges smokes a bowl and brings back his super smooth and lazy voice from THE BIG LEBOWSKI and is probably the only voice you'll instantly pick up. Jon "Napoleon Dynamite" Heder gets passed the dutchie to bring get Chicken Joe's voice just right as well. Upcoming Shia LaBeouf lends his voice to Cody and does the peppy teenager thing just right. Diedrich Bader, who is best known as one of Drew Carey's sitcom sidekicks, gives a gravely voice to Tank, the bully surfer. Ironically it took an animated penguin movie to make little Diedrich the least bit intimidating.

As a surfer, I was quite impressed with how the animator got the technicalities of surfing correct. The paddling, maneuvers, and surfboard physics are all pretty accurate, and the surfing penguins catch the waves at just the right crest in the wave. Pro surfers Kelly Slater and Rob Machado also pop in for cameo roles as commentators, and a brief montage of surfing spots at the beginning of the movie showcases some of the best spots in the world. Sadly, the one thing that is completely missing is the surf music! How do you have a surfing movie without plenty of reverb-drenched instrumentals?! There is one surf song, a revamped version of Wipe Out, while the rest of the soundtrack is filled with tired alternative nonsense like Green Day, The New Radicals, and Sugar Ray. This would have been the perfect time to breathe new life into some great classic songs for a new generation to learn, and it was poorly squandered.

Now, aside from the soundtrack, the multitude of fine attention to details that are spread throughout the movie, which the kids watching aren't going to care about, make this much better than it has any right to be. I rented this almost as a joke, but honestly got caught up in the story (predictable as it was) and the characters. You want some happy feet? Get yourself standing on an nine foot longboard and drift along a curling wave at the break of dawn. Then go watch this movie. Then, for the love of the Poseidon, watch THE ENDLESS SUMMER. Please?

DEAD AND BREAKFAST Movie Review

DEAD AND BREAKFAST (2004)

On their way to a wedding, a caravanning group of friends spend the night in a bed and breakfast in a tiny hick town, run by Robert Wise (David Carradine in a cameo appearance). But when the inn's chef is brutally murdered that same night and Wise has a heart attack that sends him straight to the morgue, the group are forced by the sheriff to stay in the town. Wise wasn't just an innkeeper, as unlucky Johnny finds out when he unlocks an angry spirit that Wise had kept in a small box. Now possessed by the spirit, Johnny begins a murderous rampage through the town, and turning the hillbilly townsfolk into an army of possessed zombies.

The rest of Johnny's friends, along with the sheriff and a local drifter that just happens to know all about Wise's forays into the spirituality and magic, board themselves up in the bed and breakfast to make their stand against Johnny. And the only way to stop him to take one of Wise's bones, sharpen it down into a stake, and plunge it through Johnny's heart!

With both Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson now transformed into "respectable" filmmakers, there has been a lull in truly outrageous splatstick comedy as of late. And as for horror-musical movies? They have been few and far between. Enter Matthew Leutwyler, the director and co-writer for this horror-comedy narrated via country-bluegrass-rockabilly numbers. It is "horror" only because of its dealing with the possessed and countless gory murders, but this is really just pure slapstick self-aware comedy filled with one-liners and one set-up situation after another to see just how much goo and grue can be splashed across the screen at one time!

The ensemble cast is filled with a few recognizable names and "hey I know that face" television actors. The aforementioned Carradine plays it safe with his current KILL BILL / Yellowbook.com warrior monk persona, before getting wiped out in the first fifteen minutes and is replaced by a none-too-convincing stand-in dummy corpse. Erik Palladino takes up the role of the male bad-ass while Ever Carradine (yes, she's David's neice) falls into the heroine role and chainsaw wielding extraordinaire, while Oz Perkins completely hams it up as the possessed Johnny. Buffy fans will also catch Bianca Lawson in the meek and timid "vegan" role. Everyone gives great go-for-broke performances that won't get them any accolades, but proves without a shadow of a doubt that everyone is having fun!

The surprise performance comes from musician/actor Zach Selwyn as the guitar-strumming narrator who also wrote the majority of the songs. The lyrics and tunes are quirky and catchy, and even when he becomes possessed continues to belt out tune after tune with his hillbilly back up band, with the lyrics twisting into something you'd find on a Nekromantix or Cramps album. It gives the film just the little bit of extra to help set it apart and in your memory.

So, you've got your television cast, your extra dash of quirk, but what about the "ick"? Well effects artists Michael Mosher and Richard Redlefsen (who both have an impressive resume in horror and non-horror) bring on one in-camera practical-effects gag after another with plenty of tried and true head-explosions and decapitations. Thirty-four gallons of blood were used during the production, with over four gallons dedicated to a single decapitation by chainsaw! Its all kept on the lighter side though, as characters slip-n-slide through the spilled blood and possessed Johnny spends a good portion of his screen time talking to a head like a ventriloquist. For the blood equals funny crowd, this one is hard to top.

Leutwyler sprinkles some none-too-secret nods to his predecessors as well throughout the film. Carradine's character is named for the famous horror director, an EVIL DEAD poster is seen briefly in a closet, and riffs on famous horror murders are directly lifted (take it as homage or unoriginal ripoff) to keep his apple of a movie not far from the splatter tree.

Twenty years ago, REDNECK ZOMBIES was the go-to film for undead hillbilly hi-jinx. This movie certainly takes the crown now for your annual hellbilly hoedown, and its a perty entertaining movie for us north of the Mason-Dixon line as well.

DRAWN TOGETHER SEASON TWO Review

DRAWN TOGETHER
Seaon Two

This is the true life story of eight cartoon characters picked to live in a house and have their lives recorded. Find out what happens when they stop acting nice and start acting real. There’s Clara, the racist, homophobic anti-semantic princess; Foxxy Love, the mystery-solving musician; the manly superhero Captain Hero; Ling Ling, the cute but deadly Asian anime animal; Xandir, the video game adventurer; Spanky Ham, the Internet download sensation; and Toots, the black and white 1920’s sex symbol.

Picking up right where the cliffhanger season one episode ended, season two continues to laugh in the face of political correctness, skirts the line of copyright infringement with each scene, and swings for the fences to offend all who dare to tune in. And like any good second season or sequel, creators Dave Jeser and Matthew Silverstein, along with an army of psychotic writers, push everything harder and faster this time around. If any punches were pulled during the first season, they certainly don’t seem to be pulling any this time around, especially with the freedom of the DVD format and those two glorious words “not rated.”

Read My Full DVD Review At Geeks Of Doom